Awwww. it’s been months. T_T

My school’s gonna finish at December 5. I am ready for a big renovation. =]

I just don’t like the way I cope to changes. Probably one of the reasons why I always remained inexplicable whenever i tried to write something on this blog. I had wasted too many hours, just to spend sometime and write something, but it feels like what I’m about to write would not make any sense. I ended up putting them on drafts.

It was quite ordinary–or maybe too simple, to live a life when you go to school, and be with a group of friends that you don’t really spend much time with. It wasn’t bad, i actually loved their company. Maybe i don’t really feel like getting used to not see some people, especially when their company is the one that i loved the most.

I’ve had enough of being sad about it, just that it really doesn’t feel like common. Even if i’m with a couple of friends, it was as though i was about to make my own world. Maybe because it was only 2 days since school started, but it felt so different that it almost look like i was better off keeping myself away from them.

Hayy. This sucks. It’s not eventhe worse.

It’s been way long time since I’ve been here again. Not that I’m so addicted in playing online games, But i got lost of what to post. There’s a lot happening right now, since school is back, It just makes everything heavier than ever. T_T

Hooh. Now i understand the word ‘BUSY’.

The title is not even a word, i guess.

Somehow i thought it was really unfair, and i know i was being unfair either. I only needed a few spaces to accept the fact, but how can i need this space if i know that the moment that i’ve been fearing for was not months, not weeks, but days?

What I fear? simple.

I was afraid of being left behind.

I’ve never been so good at accepting goodbyes’, neither am i at expertise in telling it myself. It felt like it was final, like they would die–or maybe i would. I was scared of the fact that even though it was only at this time, there might be a possibility that it was the end of the line. Exaggerating but quite real, like you might not know that the person might die after that last glimpse of you two.

It doesn’t get any better when a person–became this persons. 2 persons. I can’t believe it can happen in one click. The next thing you know, you were waving at them…as they walk a few strides away. I don’t want to curl up like a ball and hug myself. It wasn’t a very good idea. It just felt like even more lonely. It wasn’t fair, but i know it wasn’t made that way. Still, it just hurts. I can envision the moment, where i sit on the table, unable to talk to anyone ‘coz i was alone. It was crazy. But it happened away. 

It was like yesterday when i said goodbye to this person. Now i have to face another one–and it’s not getting easier. It wasn’t good enough for me to carry the burden of being left behind by one person, how much more will bring me down with this?

I know they say i’m tough, but i have a weakness.

When i was just starting to get on with my blog at Blogger, I have no idea what ‘blog hopping’ means. People would come and go at my blog then write the exact two words and that’s it. I thought it was some kind of tradition so i hit them back with the same stuff. On the other side, i realized it’s not really fun at all. What’s the point of a blog if no one is reading the contents?

So i changed my etiquette as i visit different blogs. I read at least 1 or 2 entries of each blog in my blogroll and make a tag in the tagboard. It was okay but pretty much tiring to read entries that are only written for ranting purpose–which never really bothered me since i also do the same(and probably much worse than that). I will leave a comment to have a say about it then off i go to another blog.

Sometimes it will take me awhile to visit one blog especially when it was really getting my interest. Well, when i say interest, i meant that are…common. Like, Health news, Psychology studies, Love, Faith, etc. You get the picture.

Anyway, i failed to keep my promise. I didn’t go blog hopping. I was in ragnarok and i got really stuck trying to get myself a gunslinger. XD

Pardon me for that. I will have to keep my promise tomorrow, or you can beat me up. XD

It’s been awhile since i got back to this blog.

I had no idea why it had been hard for me to think of what to say–or write. I haven’t been using my browser lately, and i know that my computer is starting to slow down. I thought it was not really a bad idea to lure myself and enjoy playing REBIRTHRO. But i got too bored that i realize that i can’t stay playing– i think i meant that i really miss my website.

I just played Ragnarok last tuesday. How about for the past few weeks?

June 16-20. I was on work experience at LeMan’s toyota as an Admin Assistant. I wasn’t tired. But as soon as i got home, i’ve been sleeping soundly for an hour. My mom will only wake me up when it’s time for dinner. After that i would go online for an hour, talking to people, especially the ones from lunatic forum, talking about me as i deleted my account. I miss them too.

It wasn’t bad and i was really proud of myself because i got 100 bucks in the end of the week. I whispered to myself, “my first paycheck”. It’s not really much, but it’s still worth it. That very week had affected me drastically about my point of view in the future. I’m already sure that i’m taking management accounting as my course. My career teacher had already put the VCE subjects that i might take, in case i might really take accounting or Business administration(career preference i made). I’m thinking of taking Business Management, Accounting, Literature, Psychology, Math Methods and VET Business(’coz i want to earn a certificate). Pretty good subjects, eh? And good subjects means more PRESSURE.

The next week i was back in school, there’s not really much to do but i was busy–and you have to blame Twilight for that. I’m making a separate post for this one ‘coz really, Stephenie Meyer had made me crazy! I’m just waiting for tomorrow so i can buy the third book. *with grin face*

Anyway, It’s holidays now. I still got lots to do. But i  understand that i had to do some blog hopping tomorrow.

I finally deleted my account on Lunatic Forum. Well that had been hard. hahaha. i’ve been talking to everyone and they were like asking me what’s going on and whatever. Maybe today they’ll realise it when they see my thread. I miss them already. Oh well. i guess life’s just like that.

It was never been better when i found out that my bestfriend is moving next sem. It was only last friday when he told me that his parents were okay with it and then the next day they were telling him to get ready. I was not okay with it, coz he’s the only one i’m gonna be with tomorrow. Hayy. He was my bestfriend. And although he wasn’t as good as me at school, he would kick some arse to defend me. hahaha. i’ll miss him. it’s too sad when he was thanking me for everything. Likewise to me.

so many goodbyes.

Whenever i hear Australians talk with their accent, there are times that it reminds me of UK(united kingdom, not Ukay-ukay). Actually a friend of mine invited me to come with her to UK, well she wants to go in August, just to visit and meet her friends in there. I have read so many good things about living in England, and i’m really fond of the British accent if you asked me. How i see those things, is actually had convinced to go there..

Not only to visit, but to get a job and settle down.

It wasn’t a fast decision actually, I’ve been thinking about it lately too. I’m only fifteen and i know that, alright. But. I’m thinking of marking this decision. As how i envisioned my life at the moment, well I’ll grow older and become a career woman then never get to marry anybody. haha. Well, i might, but i’m not thinking about that. I was thinking of my career and my family. I wanted to give the best that i can for them, that is what i want to do right now. I want to study harder and finish university then make an income to help my parents. I don’t want them to think that i’m just going to leave them like that and go on with my life. I love them, they were one of the people who sums up the person i am right now. How i can say this things, and my beliefs in life was because of how they taught me about all these. And i’m proud of that, really.

I decided to visit Britain after i finished graduating in uni. I learned several good things about the country, and i might as well try to compare by visiting there for awhile. Then if my mind wasn’t altered in those days, Deciding to migrate is final.

that was my decision at the moment, anything can happen. Hopefully in the future, i hope i won’t regret leaving…It might be starting next week, i just hope i’ll be making a good decision.

You won’t understand this until you knew what was really going on.

I’ll be [as Jack would have said] wagging tomorrow at period 1 and 2, because i’m going to do my last exam on Information Technology tomorrow. hahaha. We’ll be having it in the new building, in which by the way, had been filled with vandalisms all over. Even the J block building had been vandalised by graffiti in spray paint. You’ll see them a lot in the train stations especially in Frankston. But anyway, there had been a lot of damage done by some blokes(of maybe outside or inside the school). I remember last time when i was at the office(and no, i didn’t do anything. XD). I saw our vice principal at an office watching something, i tried to look at it, (not to the point that i had to get behind her) i realized it was the video of the other night were someone with the white shirt is doing something, well, that’s all i know because the secretary had finished talking to me.

I think i’m beginning to see that my school is scary. I wanna moveeeee.

+++

How hard is it to be away from a loved one? I’m sorry to barge this ‘in’ in my entry but i’m really sick of keeping the thought to my head.

I’m not insane about love. I’m not that kind of person like Zefferelli’s version of “Romeo and Juliet” were even if they were just 10 cm apart, they wanna kiss each other again and again and the guy is like eating the girl’s head while they’re kissing. XD. but seriously, they really do. Try watching it.

And hmmm…

Uuwi na kasi si Babz sa Philippines. Wala lang, malungkot lang ako.
Oo nga’t nandito sila ngayon sa Australia, they stayed for like 3 weeks.
Pero ni sulyap nga lang ng mukha hindi ko nakita eh.
tapos kelangan ng umuwi kasi simula na ng klase -_-.
I know i know, hindi naman sa ‘face does matter’, i just..you know?
\kahit man lang makasama ng ilang minuto, at least. you get to see each other,
you’ll know how it feels like to be with each other. Pero.. sige wag na. yun lang. XD

I know. Last time, my online space or blog is http://angelcha.blogspot.com with the layout designed by myself. Then i decided to be hosted by Ate Sherica with the subdomain of http://ewan.sunsetkitsch.net and which by the way, cannot be accessed anymore. Becoming one of her baby is one of the mose memorable moments in my blogging history. More Powers to her!

I have my own domain. My own home. I still can’t believe that dad had brought it for me. Of course, i will take care of it. Besides, this was something i love to do. I don’t need to move again. Kuchara? hahaha. lol. I admit, it still makes me laugh at the thought that i actually chose a domain that means “spoon” in Filipino language. But i doesn’t matter anyway, no one knows the meaning of that word unless they’re a Filipino or…Spanish? maybe.

I will know my Test Results in Math examinations tomorrow. Well here’s a quote that i actually believe: “Don’t cram on the exam, but cram for the results”. So yeah, that’s what i’m doing right now. I’ll post my score here when i got all of it. I still got exam on Information Technology on thursday.

I did another signature for lunatic. I know that i don’t need to make one since (insert reason here). But still…

Hehhehe, sounds cheesy eh? But.

I love Lunatic Forum. I believe that any lunatic blogger who’s reading this right now probably know how addicted i was. XD

orayt. tee-cee. (: